Report from the front
Astranaar Standoff ends in a stalemate at Ashenvale
Good evening, Azeroth. I'm Ron Burgundoom, and my moustache has asked me to say it is very proud of me tonight. On Wednesday, September 30, from 9:19 PM EDT to 10:03 PM EDT, the Horde and the Alliance met in Ashenvale for the Astranaar Standoff. It lasted 44 minutes. There were 335 deaths. I have never been so moved, except by lunch. Today it was a single boiled egg, in a sock.
The verdict is a stalemate. The Alliance suffered 174 deaths and the Horde 161. Kills were close, and the last 15 minutes were even. The front moved like a mighty chessboard, or a… a damp sandwich. I stand by it.
Now the heroes. Mhureth Theolia of <The Click> led all players with 37 kills and 62367 damage. At 10:03 PM EDT came 37 kills without dying. I… I need a moment. Gooner Gator of <DILFS> and Sage Optimuz of <Magnificent> each took 10 kills. For the Alliance, Honning Frankly of <Horde Removal Service> took 14 kills and 39900 damage. Oki Doki of <OLYMPUS lIl> took 12, with a triple kill at 10:01 PM EDT. Huntress Marajade of <EIfcore> took 10 kills and 26196 damage.
Healers win battles too. Sadgurl Frumpus healed 27186 for the Horde. Wildfang Dragonclaw healed 16143 for the Alliance. I would applaud, but I am holding my jazz flute. NO DRAW? DRAW.
Stay classy, Azeroth.
