Report from the front
Horde wins the Ratchet Stranglehold decisively, pushing the front 96% toward Ratchet
Good evening, Azeroth. I'm Ron Burgundoom, and my moustache has asked me to say it is deeply moved tonight. This is the news. It is the only news. It is the Ratchet Stranglehold.
It began Tuesday, September 29, at 4:25 PM EDT in The Barrens. It ended at 5:09 PM EDT, 45 minutes later. In that time there were 122 deaths: 38 Horde deaths and 84 Alliance deaths. I have read many numbers. I have never read one so numerically. At 4:50 PM EDT the front stood 96% of the way to Ratchet. At 4:55 PM EDT it stood there still. The front moved like a mighty river, or a... a large soup. The Horde pushed from Crossroads toward the Alliance base at Ratchet, and the verdict was a decisive Horde victory.
Ramnorman Farthing of <Ironwolf Clan> led all players with 7 kills. At 4:55 PM EDT he made a triple kill, then reached 7 kills without dying. I... I need a moment. Aldonzo Shadows had 6 kills without dying at 4:42 PM EDT, and Wulfs Banes of <Revenant> took 5 kills. For the Alliance, Natty Headlock and Shifty Illathas each took 1 kill. I am told a man may apply Eau de Gankmoor only once per broadcast. I have applied it four times. THE HORDE HELD. I mean, advanced. I will have my lunch now, a single boiled sandwich.
Stay classy, Azeroth.
